In each person’s life, parting happened when yesterday, so dearly beloved, near and dear to him, he leaves that day, taking a piece of his soul and closing the door to a happy family future. Indescribable pain, a feeling of emptiness, grief, despair and resentment settles in the heart. Many are trying to find the answer to questions: how to survive a breakup with a loved one, what to do to re-establish faith in love and open the heart to new feelings? Psychologists recommend letting go of a person, not holding on to the past, but finding positive factors in the situation.
Why do people worry so much about breaking up
Parting with a loved one is a kind of mental trauma that is not easy to survive. The main reasons why people react so sharply to breakup, psychologists include the following:
- Sincere love - when the heart completely belongs to one beloved person, all thoughts of him are unimaginable to imagine that he can leave. After parting, love does not pass in one day or a month, it will take a lot of time for feelings to burn out, to cool, so it’s extremely difficult to survive the gap.
- Attachment to a person - if a couple has been together for a long time, people trusted each other, it is extremely difficult to accept, to understand that this is no longer and will not happen again.
- Fear of being alone - after parting with a loved one, the self-esteem of the abandoned, as a rule, drops sharply. Obsessive thoughts appear with the pretext “what if”: “What if I’ll not meet anyone?”, “What if I’ll be left alone forever?”, Others. Such thoughts make you sad and aggravate the process of experiencing, prolonging the “recovery”.
- Self-flagellation is one of the main factors that make you experience the situation of parting with a loved one again. Constant memories of happy, joyful days together, viewing joint photos, listening to sad compositions - this makes you return to the past, which is no longer there, which further depresses the state.
Psychologists advice on how to endure loneliness after breaking up
To survive the separation under the strength of each person, this will only take time, a little effort. A real, sound, sober assessment of the situation will help to cope with the problem, accepting the situation as it is, understanding that the relationship has remained in the past, and a new stage of life is open before you. In order to survive a breakup with a loved one, psychologists advise you to take simple 4 steps:
- Release the past.
- Find something positive in the breakup.
- Remove all the negativity that parting brought to life (think positively).
- Open your heart to new life, relationships, feelings.
Don't hold on to memories
When a person leaves, there are reasons for this: cooled feelings, new love, frequent conflict situations with a partner. It is important to understand that if a loved one has left, then you need to let him go - it will be painful, difficult, but you need to put a bullet at this stage of life, to throw all thoughts and memories of the past out of your head. In order to survive the separation, you need to clear your head of thoughts about the dear loved one, forbid yourself even to think about what connects with him.
Get rid of negative emotions
Negative negatively affects the emotional, mental and physical state of health, so you should get rid of it. Forget about the pain that you had to endure during the breakup, about the insult that settled in the soul and poison from the inside, about the hatred of the once beloved person who had so cruelly betrayed, drowned his heart. Throw away everything that reminds you of a former partner, causing a wave of indignation, grief, streams of tears.
Chat with friends and relatives
After parting, it is not necessary to lead a reclusive lifestyle, to sit alone. Rather, it’s even the other way around - the free time that has appeared can be spent on close people, friends, whom I could not meet before. Do not be afraid to talk about your feelings, feelings that lurk in your soul, having spoken out, you will achieve relief, and the support of your relatives will help you regain self-confidence.
Program yourself for happiness and new relationships
In order to survive the breakup, you need to understand that this is not only the finish of the relationship, but also the beginning of a new life in which there will be other meetings, acquaintances, joys. Release sorrows and sorrows, open your heart to new feelings, relationships, believe that you can love and be loved. Tune in to a positive wave, allow yourself to enjoy every day, believe in a miracle and do not be afraid of defeating the Amur's arrow.
Ways to survive a heartache after a long relationship
It is possible to cope with depression, pain after parting with the help of various changes in life, new hobbies, activities. It is not necessary to change everything dramatically, sometimes even small innovations can give the existence of a new meaning, joy. Known methods that help you survive the breakup:
- Change the image - radical changes in appearance, according to psychologists, can affect life after parting, quickly changing it. Changing the image may include changing the haircut or hair color, style of clothing, updating the entire wardrobe. In addition, if changes will occur in the beauty salon, this will be an additional pleasant pastime for the girl.
- Going for sports - going to the gym or a little exercise at home will help to improve your mood, get a boost of energy after breaking up with your loved one. This is a great way to keep in shape, which helps to feel confident, attract the enthusiastic looks of the opposite sex.
- Shopping therapy is the best way for women to fight depression and anxiety after breaking up with a loved one. Updating the wardrobe always favorably affects the condition of the girl, helps to survive a difficult time, improves mood, helps to occupy the girl, and distract from suffering. Going on shopping with girlfriends, it will turn out not only to buy new things, but also to have fun.
- Going on a trip is a great chance to see the world, get an unforgettable experience and experience delightful emotions. During the trip there will be an opportunity not only to enjoy the beauties of picturesque nature or architectural buildings, but also to think about the important. For example, to analyze your actions, evaluate why your loved one could stop loving, whose fault and what should be changed so that in the future to avoid mistakes and other relationships would not end in parting.
- Starting a home renovation is a great opportunity to be distracted, to radically change something in your life after breaking up with your loved one. Make a small redevelopment, change furniture that brings back memories of your former beloved, this will create your own comfort zone.
- To meet new people. New acquaintances are necessary for people, like oxygen, to support life, to develop, to receive new knowledge. Arrange the reception of new acquaintances at home, relax and have fun for the glory that return the craving for life, survive the breakup.
- Distract from sad thoughts: visit exhibitions, museums or theaters. Visiting cultural places provides an opportunity to get inspiration, get closer to culture and the world of beauty, helps to relieve emotions after parting with a loved one. This is a great chance for spiritual development and self-development, thanks to which you will not stand in one place, but will constantly develop.
- Read positive literature - a good book can change the worldview, get a charge of positive emotions and find inspiration for a happy future. Preference should be given to books on self-education, psychology or classics, which can make you reconsider your views on life, evaluate your actions and other people in a given period. Literature can help in making plans for the future, forget about the experiences after parting with a loved one.
- Buying a pet for yourself - taking care of someone will help you to forget about parting, to survive this trouble. There will no longer be a feeling of loneliness, because upon returning home you will be greeted by a cute cat or a funny dog that will brighten up your leisure time and help you cheer you up.
Video: how to easily bridge the breakup with a loved one
Surviving a painful breakup is not easy, it will take time to learn how to live without these relationships, the forces that will help you forget about everything. It is important to realize that there is nothing to return, no matter how much you want to. Rebuild your life in such a way, stop thinking who was to blame - so that there would be no place for suffering or thoughts about the past. Perhaps in the future you will still be bound by friendships, but for the next few months, you should completely forget about the person. Watch a video where a practicing psychologist will give useful tips on how to survive a breakup: